


i came here for love

by rebelvigilante



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn, Falsettos - Lapine/Finn (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Modern AU probably, alternate au where jason didn’t invite whizzer to the baseball game, idk if the straights or jason will make an appearance, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25528681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelvigilante/pseuds/rebelvigilante
Summary: whizzer hadn’t realized where he’d been walking until the front door of an uncomfortably familiar house opened.
Relationships: Dr. Charlotte/Cordelia (Falsettos), Whizzer Brown/Marvin
Comments: 31
Kudos: 64





	1. one

whizzer lay on his back on an unfamiliar bed in the middle of an unfamiliar room. brown eyes stared holes into the ugly popcorn ceiling above him. he wore nothing but a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, and the blankets were left half over his legs. this was his life now. 

he was exhausted, but couldn’t sleep. he jumped from man to man, stayed in their house for the night and then went out and did his thing until it repeated again. he was tired of it. maybe he wanted real love, but he wasn’t exactly sure he knew what that felt like. what  _ was  _ real love, anyway?

thinking of the movies - the romance ones, cliché ‘boy meets girl’ where they fall in love after office romance or something similar because they’re all the same - whizzer wasn’t sure that those were real romance. or, if they were, he decided he didn’t want  _ that _ kind of romance. 

whizzer wanted the kind of romance that just happened. maybe it was meant to be, maybe it took some work, but it just occurred naturally. he wanted to meet someone and perhaps not know that he’d end up falling for them, but know that he enjoyed their presence. he wanted to be their friend before he was their lover. he wanted to share experiences before anything got serious. a friends to lovers situation. he wanted it… but it terrified him. 

what had happened, in the last three years since his breakup, that turned him into this? if you’d asked whizzer brown even just a few months ago if he’d wanted to truly fall in love, he would say no. if you’d asked him if he wanted the feeling to be reciprocated, he would say  _ hell _ no. he didn’t want to share romantic feelings. sexual, sure. if people pined over him, okay. for him to fall in love at all was an issue, but for the person to love him back?

now, it was what he  _ wanted _ . maybe he was finally going crazy. maybe the years of one night stands and strange men and selling his body and drinking and sometimes things being slipped into his drink was finally making him go crazy. 

“hey.” whizzer’s head didn’t even turn in response to the voice. he knew it was whatever man had gotten him of his own last night, and whizzer didn’t care to look at him again. “are you, uh… awake?”

“yes,” whizzer answered simply. 

“okay. well, i gotta go to work. so you gotta go.”

of course. 

whizzer sat up, pulled the rest of his clothes on from where they lay strewed along the floor, and left without another word. he didn’t spare the guy another glance, even as he tried saying something. whizzer shut the door in his face. maybe that was mean, but he couldn’t quite get himself to care. the guy was probably just saying something like “here’s my cell phone number if you want to do this again,” and whizzer didn’t want to hear it. it was a  _ one _ night stand. he’d already ruined his life once by letting a one night stand turn into an official relationship, he wasn’t about to do that again. he wasn't going to let it happen again. 

on occasion, whizzer’s mind drifted to marvin. perhaps it was on more occasions than he’d like to admit, but it wasn’t like he had anyone to admit it  _ to _ , regardless. he wasn’t entirely sure  _ what _ about marvin he thought of, but just marvin nonetheless. sometimes he wondered what made him love marvin - and why, maybe, some of those feelings happened to linger. 

they didn’t get along. ever. constant nagging, arguing, fighting, yelling. nothing physical, but they only lasted nine months. sometimes, whizzer wondered what life would look like if they hadn’t broken up. if whizzer had shoved the suitcase away and had stayed. 

it was probably for the best that he didn’t. 

he hadn’t realized where he’d been walking - he just wanted to get away from the apartment he’d just left - until the front door of an uncomfortably familiar house opened. an uncomfortably familiar man opened the door. 

“whizzer?”

he stood on the front porch of marvin’s house. marvin stood in the doorframe, looking up at him with an expression of just as much surprise as whizzer felt. how did he get here? how long had he been standing on the porch? 

“hi,” he settled on saying. he’d intended it to be casual, simple. he chose to ignore the tired, unsure way it came out. 

marvin didn’t seem to ignore it. in fact, whizzer watched the surprise on his face morph into concern. the shorter male stepped backwards, gaze never falling from whizzer’s face. “would you please come in?” he asked. “i can make tea.”

at this point, whizzer supposed that he didn’t have much of a choice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this in lowercase because i didn’t think it would be any good and i didn’t think i’d make it public (also i like the aesthetic), but i’m actually kind of happy with it? so,, here it is.  
> i kind of... want to make it a short series? so i guess if anyone is interested after this chapter, let me know in the comments and maybe i’ll write another chapter
> 
> also, title is taken from the song by ella eyre - it’s gorgeous, i definitely recommend it!


	2. two

they sat. marvin made them tea, and they sat across from each other at the dining table with their mugs. he somehow seemed to remember (even though he  _ never _ had before) that whizzer’s favorite mug had been the white one with the rainbow handle. whizzer didn’t really even remember when or where they’d gotten it, but he did know that it had been his favorite mug for a while. it had been one of the few things he actually would  _ openly _ admit to missing about living here, with marvin. 

marvin had redecorated. the place looked very different from the way it had looked when whizzer was last here. surprisingly, it looked nice. it had been modernized, just a touch. simple and sleek - blacks, greys, and whites - but with touches of fun colors to add flair. fun colors that, even more surprisingly, didn’t clash. whizzer had a feeling that marvin hadn’t done it on his own. he wondered if marvin had a new, stylish boyfriend that did it for him. a replacement boyfriend. someone probably better than whizzer. someone who–

“are you alright?”

“hm?” he looked over, across the table. there was a clear vase on the table, in it a single red rose. whizzer’s favorite flower. he wondered if marvin’s new, stylish boyfriend got it for him. 

marvin set his mug down on the table, gently. his mug was a simple matte black one, it fit in well with the rest of the decor of the house. “you seem… spacey,” he said, slowly, like he was thinking out what he said before he said it. that was new. “and you stood on my porch for five minutes. i thought, maybe, you’d just walk away…”

whizzer chose to ignore the ‘spacey’ comment. although marvin was right, he didn’t want to talk about it. “i guess you thought wrong, then,” he spoke. simple, a little blunt, but not rude. 

the other man chuckled a little, running a hand through his hair, and nodded. “yeah. wouldn’t be the first time,” he said. “i, uh… how have you been?”

“could’ve been better,” he answered, taking a deep breath before continuing. “you?”

“me too.  _ working _ on being better,” marvin answered. he gave whizzer a small smile. “i missed you. i’m not sure whether you want to hear that or not, but it’s the truth. i missed you as soon as you left, but i’ve missed you even more, recently.”

whizzer didn’t have a response to that. he turned his gaze down towards his mug, staring into the golden brown liquid inside it. 

there was a brief pause before marvin continued speaking. “i’m trying to be better, whizzer, i really am. for jason, for myself, for everyone. for you,” he said, his voice soft. he cleared his throat, drumming the fingers on his left hand against the table once. “i never realized how awful i was until you left. i made a huge mistake.  _ tons _ of huge mistakes. i treated everyone in my life like shit, especially you, and i regret it. and i know there’s no way for me to make it up to you, to  _ anyone,  _ but i… i  _ want _ to. i wish there  _ was _ a way. and i want to try to find a way… so i’ve been bettering myself. it doesn’t make up for the past, i know, but i’m trying so that there could be a better future. you know?”

whizzer had half a mind to say something mean. to spit venom in marvin’s direction, the way they always had before. but marvin was trying to be kind, to be civil - he was more than  _ trying _ , he  _ was _ being kind and civil. it would be hypocritical of whizzer to remind marvin of how awful he used to be when whizzer hadn’t changed a bit. instead, he remained silent. he still stared at his tea. 

he heard marvin sigh, quiet and probably more to himself. “um… do you like the new layout of the place? i changed it all last year. actually, i changed it all a bit before that, but the new neighbors came over and made fun of me,” he said. changing the topic. whizzer could respect it. “they’re lesbians. cordelia and charlotte. they said that, for a gay man, i did a shitty job. it reminded me of something you’d say– anyway, i let them redo it. i tried to help, but they told me everything i did was wrong so i just let them do it. i’m glad i did, because i think it looks nice. they told me it looks more like a gay lives here, and i’m happy with that.”

he finally decided to respond, “it definitely screams ‘raging homosexual.’ it’s nice.”

marvin chuckled, glancing around the room. “yeah? i thought you might like it. i think you’d like the girls, too. they’re super sweet,” he drummed his fingers again. once, twice, three times. he stopped. “y’know, the one decoration i  _ did _ pick was this.”

whizzer looked up to watch marvin gesture to the rose. his throat closed up for a moment, but he willed it to open again. “oh?” was all he said. all he  _ could _ say. 

“yeah. i remembered it was your favorite, and…” marvin trailed off. his smile faltered. “i  _ really _ miss you.”

his throat closed up again. he cleared it. “i should go,” he said, standing. “thanks for the tea.” 

he left before marvin could say anything else. he may as well have closed the door in his face, the same way he did to the guy from this morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, here’s another chapter
> 
> i promise i’m still writing “buy the farm” – i’m just not in the right ✨headspace✨ for it right now? i’m slowly writing the next chapter for it but it’s a little at a time because i get a few paragraphs in and then lose motivation. i promise it’ll be out sometime though, i am not abandoning it!
> 
> either way, i hope you enjoyed this chapter. i’m kind of winging this fic, as i hadn’t planned to post it at all let alone write more chapters for it... but writing is always a good thing to do to help cure and destroy writer’s block, so i’m going with it. please let me know what you think & thank you all very much for the nice comments on the first chapter :’)


	3. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for very slight nsfw at the beginning

once whizzer returned home, to his shoddy old apartment, he realized that he had made a mistake. he tried to brush it off for a while, to say that marvin was happier without him and that things wouldn’t work out even if he really  _ did _ miss him as much as he said. by the time he’d worked up the energy to leave, go to a bar, and end up in another man’s bed, he was starting to  _ really _ regret his decision. why hadn’t he just hung out with marvin? 

“i don’t want to do this anymore,” whizzer said. 

the guy stared at him. they were both naked, the guy was on top of him, but they hadn’t gotten much further than kissing. 

“what?” he asked, slurred. he was drunk. really, so was whizzer. “we haven’t even–”

“i’m going home, sorry,” whizzer murmured quickly, sliding out from under him and gathering his clothes up from the floor. 

blondie frowned, sitting up straight and watching whizzer put clothes on. “can i at least get your phone number?”

“i don’t have a phone,” whizzer lied, slipping out of the apartment. it was almost as ratty as his own. he made it down the steps, exiting the building, only to pause as he watched the rain hit the streets. 

it was pretty, for a moment. the dark sky, the slick road lit up by the blurred street lights and car headlights. something about nighttime new york city in the middle of a storm was beautiful, but not when whizzer had to walk home in it. he didn’t really know where he was, either – he wasn’t completely drunk, but he was tipsy enough to be disoriented and he hadn’t paid attention to the turns the cab had taken that brought him here. 

he wasn’t about to call another cab, though. he didn’t have the money for that. at least, not on him at the moment. so he wrapped his jacket tighter around himself and stepped out from underneath the overhang and began walking in a direction that seemed to make sense. he didn’t pay much attention to what he was doing or where he was going… and ended up at marvin’s house again. this time, he didn’t even go up to the porch. marvin apparently saw him anyway. 

the front door opened. marvin was in pajamas – a plain t-shirt and checkered pants – but he’d slipped on an old pair of dad-like sketchers to come outside. he stepped off his porch and took whizzer’s hand gently, pulling him inside. “were you walking?” he asked, concern etched over his face. “in  _ that _ ?”

whizzer paused. he couldn’t really lie. “yeah,” he shrugged. “i, uh… couldn’t find a cab.”

he could tell that marvin didn’t entirely believe it, but he nodded anyway. “okay,” he said. “stay here. i’ll get you a towel… and dry clothes.”

“no, marvin, i–” but he had already disappeared down the hallway. whizzer lingered in front of the door awkwardly, wrapping his jacket tighter around himself. he was cold, and it didn’t do him much good because it had gotten soaked through by the rain, but it was an instinct. 

marvin returned a few moments later, wrapping a warm towel around whizzer’s shoulders. “why don’t you go take a warm shower, yeah?” he offered, clearing noting the fact that whizzer was shivering. “i’ll put your clothes in the dryer. the pajamas, too, so they’ll be warm when you get done.”

whizzer took a deep breath. “you don’t have to do that.”

“i want to,” marvin said, with a small smile. “come on, you’re shivering. we redid the whole bathroom, too, i want you to see it anyway.”

the bathroom  _ was _ nice. black and white like the rest of the house, but with red accents. it was modern, but almost somehow 80s-esque. whizzer liked it. marvin managed to coax him into taking a shower to warm up, and promised to have clean, warm towels and pajamas ready for him when he was done. when whizzer stepped out of the shower, the towels and pajamas lay on the counter beside the sink just as marvin promised. 

whizzer felt something catch in his throat from even just the small, kind gesture. he ignored it, dying himself off and putting on the fresh clothes. they were marvin’s, meaning the pants were too short but the shirt was a little baggy, and they smelled just like him. it was weird, because they smelled just like marvin but it wasn’t the same scent whizzer always remembered. he didn’t allow himself to dwell on it for too long, instead exiting the bathroom. 

marvin had made them tea again. he was sitting on the couch with a throw blanket over his lap, holding his own mug of tea and flicking through the television channels. he looked over as whizzer came into the room, gesturing for him to sit down too. “i made more tea. just… because it’s cold out there, i wouldn’t want you to get sick,” he said. he held up the blanket, making room for whizzer to slip under it too. 

after a moment’s hesitation, he did. whizzer took his mug and sat down next to marvin underneath the blanket. it was unbelievably cozy – he couldn’t remember the last time he had ever felt this comfortable. “thank you,” whizzer said quietly. “i promise i’ll leave as soon as my clothes are out of the dryer. i don’t know why i walked all the way out here, my house is in the other direction.”

marvin shook his head. “stay. please,” he offered. “it’s supposed to rain all tonight and into tomorrow afternoon. i don’t have work, and jason is spending the weekend with a friend instead of visiting this time. we can stay in and just… reconnect, or something. i missed you. i’d like to catch up, if you—”

both men jumped, barely managing to keep their tea from spilling everywhere, as a loud crash of thunder rumbled and the lights shut off. they were engulfed in pitch blackness. 

“well, all the street lamps are definitely off now, anyway. it’s not safe to walk home in the dark, so you  _ have _ to stay,” marvin spoke up again, after a moment. “let’s light candles and play board games or something.”

a small smile crossed whizzer’s face. “yeah… alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i suppose i am only capable of writing fanfiction in a total of two ways:  
>  1\. at least one chapter a day, obsessively  
>  2\. maybe one chapter a week if we’re lucky  
> i apologize? both are probably annoying but i can’t stop myself lmao
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter, please let me know what you think :’) also please take the time to sign a petition (or ten), it isn’t hard work at all and it’s free. black lives still matter, the fight still isn’t over. 
> 
> thank you for reading


	4. four

it was nearly two in the morning, but the pair of them were still awake. they’d finished their tea and had moved to sit on the floor against the couch, lit candles lined up on the coffee table. marvin hadn’t had many candles, and they were all scented differently, but perhaps that added to the charm of the situation. two adult men sitting on the floor of a living room, the entire house dark – aside from a birthday cake candle, an ocean wave candle, and a blueberry spice candle – while a loud storm cracked and rumbled just outside. 

whizzer still felt as though he should go home, but it didn’t worry him as much as it had before. he was too busy listening to marvin talk about what he’d done with his life in the past three years. 

he’d redecorated, obviously – with the help of his neighbors. he’d rekindled his relationship with his son, as saw jason nearly every single weekend. marvin talked about that for quite a while, about how proud of jason he was and about how he regretted waiting so long to figure out how to be a better parent. he talked about trina and mendel, about how it was still a little weird to see them together but that he’d found some kind of respect for mendel and that they seemed to do a good job with parenting jason. marvin told whizzer more about his neighbors too. that cordelia was a caterer, had catered jason’s bar mitzvah, and that charlotte was a doctor. that from the outside, they seemed sort of like an unlikely pair, but that as you got to know them there was nothing unlikely at all. whizzer found himself falling in love with them despite having never met them. he also found himself falling in love with—

“anyway,” marvin said, leaning back and waving a hand. “enough about me. what about you?”

it caught whizzer off guard, startling him out of his thoughts. “what if i want to hear more about you?” he asked, trying to cover for himself. 

marvin chuckled a bit. “then i’ll tell you more later. it feels like i’ve  _ only _ talked about myself both times i’ve seen you today, i want to hear about you.”

“i can assure you that your life is way more interesting compared to what mine has been,” whizzer insisted. “how about  _ i _ tell  _ you _ more later, and you keep talking?”

“how about–”

their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. marvin, although obviously confused, got up to answer it – then was quick to let the two girls at the door in. although whizzer hadn’t seen any pictures of them, he could easily assume that these were the neighbors he’d been talking about. 

the three of them spoke, hushed, at the door for a moment. whizzer saw them obviously, but couldn’t make out what they were saying. 

“this is cordelia, and charlotte,” marvin finally spoke to whizzer again, as they returned into the living room. he’d gestured to each woman as he said their name. 

cordelia wore a bright smile, waving at him as she and her girlfriend sat down, bringing the group into a little circle. “hi! we didn’t have candles,” she explained. “marv has told us quite a bit about you, whizzer.”

charlotte swatted the blonde’s leg playfully. “we’re glad to get to meet you on our own, though.”

whizzer wasn’t sure how he felt about that. the idea that marvin spoke of him. what did he say? was it all the good parts? all the bad parts? everything? “it’s nice to meet you too,” he settled for saying, with a small smile. 

“ _ these _ are the candles you’re using?” cordelia asked, turning the labels to herself to read them. “birthday cake and blueberry spice are fine, but those combined with  _ ocean breeze?” _

charlotte leaned over her girlfriend’s shoulder to read the labels, too. perhaps just to confirm, but maybe also because she wanted to be closer to her lover. regardless, whizzer thought it was sweet. 

marvin chuckled and shrugged, “they’re all i had, dee. at least i  _ have _ candles. how do you not have any?”

“someone loses them,” charlotte explained, with a gesture towards the blonde. 

cordelia pouted at her before starting to try to explain herself. although whizzer didn’t know either of them (and it felt like he didn’t really know marvin anymore, not entirely), they made him feel welcomed. they made sure he was a part of conversations, rather than sticking with what they already knew. whizzer felt like his presence was actually wanted, which was something he hadn’t felt in quite a long time. 

the power turned back on at four o’clock – and all four of them were amazed when they realized what time it was. the girls said their goodbyes, hugging both marvin and whizzer and kissing them on the cheeks, before heading back home. charlotte had to go to work in three hours, and she needed the sleep. after they left, whizzer turned towards marvin. 

“i suppose that i should probably go, too, yeah?”

marvin seemed almost surprised by the question. he gestured to the window, “it’s still raining. the power’s back on, but you’d get soaked.”

whizzer followed the gesture, squinting out the window. “it’s sprinkling.”

“exactly. you’ll get all wet,” when whizzer met marvin’s gaze again, the shorter man was smiling at him like a mischievous child. it was kind of cute. “you can have the bed, i’ll sleep on the couch-”

“no, marvin, i am  _ not _ taking your bed.”

he shrugged, “well, you aren’t taking the couch.”

a brief moment of silence rung out between them, before they made the silent agreement to share the bed. the silent agreement that, although it was hardly even sprinkling outside, whizzer would stay to avoid getting soaked. they laid down and, after a bit of hesitation on both men’s parts, ended up curling up together. 

it didn’t take whizzer long to fall asleep. he was exhausted from the late night, and he was comfortable in the way he and his ex-lover held each other. he supposed this was a dynamic that he could think about later. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lesbeans. 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter! i thought it was fun and sweet. i love homosexuals. please do let me know what you thought, i always love reading your comments :’) 
> 
> have a great day/night, and as always thank you so much for reading!


	5. five

when whizzer woke up, he wasn’t in bed alone. it was an interesting feeling to wake up next to someone again. marvin was already awake, and was tracing shapes against whizzer’s shoulder with his finger. he smiled when he noticed that whizzer was awake. “good morning,” he said, in a gentle whisper. whizzer almost wanted to pretend that he wasn’t awake, so he didn’t have to get up – and marvin seemed to notice that. “you can stay here. the day is completely free, we can spend all day in bed if you’d like.”

on one hand, whizzer supposed he should get home. he certainly didn’t want to overstay his welcome. on the other… he hadn’t felt like this in too long, and wanted to soak it up for as long as he could. he nodded, resting his head against marvin’s shoulder. “all day?” he echoed. 

“if that’s what you want. i certainly wouldn’t complain. i haven’t had a lazy weekend in forever,” marvin murmured, brushing a hand through whizzer’s hair once. 

“what do you usually do on weekends, then?” whizzer asked. “you should keep doing that.”

“what, this?” he asked, running his fingers through his hair again and chuckling when whizzer nodded. “alright. my weekends are usually spent with jason. he comes over in the morning, usually, and we just do things to keep him entertained. you know, he took up baseball. he’s… not very good, but he’s trying. he keeps saying he wants to get better so he can invite you to a game.”

whizzer hummed quietly. he missed jason. “you know, he could invite me even when he isn’t very good.”

“i tried telling him that, but he insisted that he get better. he’ll be so jealous when i tell him that i spent this weekend with you.”

“maybe… maybe we could all spend next weekend together?” he suggested, resting his chin on marvin’s chest now. “us, and jason, and maybe your neighbors too, if they aren’t busy.”

marvin smiled at him. “that would be lovely,” he agreed. “can i, uh… can i ask where you’ve been living?”

“oh. uh, just some old apartment. it’s not that great, really,” he shrugged. “why?”

there was a pause. marvin seemed almost hesitant at first, “i was just going to say that, y’know, if you wanted… maybe you could move back in here? i’ve missed you, so much. it was so nice having you back, even for the night, and–”

“yeah,” whizzer nodded. he wasn’t sure what possessed him to agree so quickly, but he knew that there had to be a reason for it. “i’d love to. i’ll just have to… get my things?”

marvin was smiling, bigger and brighter than whizzer had ever seen, and he found himself falling in love. again. or maybe it was just falling  _ more _ in love. “okay,” he said, but it sounded like he wanted to say something like ‘great’ or ‘perfect.’ “we can make a date out of it, yeah? let’s go get breakfast somewhere and then we can get your things and redecorate here.”

“great,” whizzer said, voicing what marvin had wanted to say earlier. 

maybe he’d found real love, in someone he’d loved before. maybe  _ this _ was what real love was: growing as people, adapting, and then starting to grow together. 

_ fin. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you ever just decide that you hate some of the things you’ve written and then delete them without thinking of it? because i do. and i did. 
> 
> but it’s okay, because i’m happier with my new writing style (you guys might not notice the differences between this fic and my older ones, but i do) and hopefully i’ll find motivation to write new and improved fics. i don’t know how many of you knew me from my old account but i had a murder mystery / detective au on there that i started and then didn’t finish and i think i’m going to rework it because i liked the general idea? idk. 
> 
> either way, thank you for reading this fic! please let me know what you thought <3


End file.
